The Formula for Life Balance, by Linda L. Miller

Ever changing +  highly personal  =  the formula for Life Balance.

It is no secret that good nutrition, fitness, and fostering mental calm are fundamental elements of the achievement and maintenance of life balance.  The question is, how does the average individual find the time, the energy and the money to assemble and constantly reformulate their own toolset for doing these things?

Trial and error is the approach most people take.  With each resolution a new mechanism is invested with a bit of research, a lot of hope and some amount of money to see if it will work.  Combined with home and career time pressures, a less than supportive family, and limits on funds, the journey to wellbeing and life balance can seem impossible.

And, if you are one of the lucky ones who got 'there', circumstances may change pushing you off balance once again.  Therefore, new approaches are constantly required to balance demands in an ever-quickening pace of living and loving in western society. 

Many philosophies or modalities promise a panacea of solutions.  But no one thing works for everyone.  Moreover, the subtle benefits of any activity or practice can bring valuable relief, chances at experiencing joy abundance that following one practice does not.

It is best to select simple multipurpose activities and practices that evolve and adapt to fit ever shifting levels of time, energy and money.

Among the more popular of these are Yoga and Meditation -- each the mirror image of the other, yoga engages a calmness of mind to pose and employ the body and meditation stills the body so the mind may release cluttering thoughts manifest healing and desire.  Both can be done almost anywhere at any time to varying degrees.

But what if yoga and meditation are not your thing?   Women particularly face demands that shift from granular to gross, and swing from emotional to physical at any time of day.  Focus of mind or employment of muscles may not be present/possible at the precise moment when a release of stress is needed.  Negative thoughts get bottled up, frustration and tension mounts and getting lost in it all takes just seconds and can last for days... robbing us of all the wonderful things that have transpired in the mean time.

A story comes to mind of a client who recently related that the pink toenails we gave her in her last pedicure before labour kept her focused during the childbirth experience.  A simple thing like pretty feet in stirrups (and the gentle touch and care taken to make them that way) can take us to a place of calm instantly even in the midst of intense moments or crisis.

It is critical to have regular experiences of calm and gentle touch to reinforce that mode of operating.  We can hold the memory of these up as protection in-the-moment against the tendency to manifest stress and be in a stressed operating mode.  It is a culmination of a thousand small things that add up to a balanced life equation.

Also, fundamental and universal principles can be applied by anyone at any time to maintain life balance, and adapt the life balance equation to circumstantial changes to achieve or regain life balance. 

First, stay grounded, strong and still within yourself at all times.  Part of this is focus, part of this is avoiding reacting.  No matter what is happening, who may be making demands, or whatever crisis is at hand... don't react to it.  It is likely that it is not really your responsibility anyway, but rather some one else's idea of what you should be doing.

Second, avoid using your body to manifest your feelings.  Notice when your body is twisted or tensed -- anything other than relaxed.  Breath deeply and relax you body to a state similar to having been sunbathing for 3 hours.  Maintain an even flow of energy throughout your body wherever and when ever you are.  Think about the blood pushing through your veins as a fluid that carries life's force evenly and methodically through your body, one heartbeat at a time.

Third, remind yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way and still be loving and open in the process of coping.  You've come a long long way, baby, and troubles only exist when you name them so.

Fourth, hire some help.  As much as you can, to lift some of the day to day administrative and maintenance grind so that your mind is clear of nagging to-dos -- clear these discussions from your relationship with your spouse and children so you can talk about things with higher value, and higher purpose as an expression of love and appreciation. 

Fifth, don't plan everything ahead.  Let things come to you, be spontaneous. Aim for a constant lightness of mind regardless of the soccer schedule, the school schedule, Revenue Canada's schedule, your menstrual schedule, the schedule at the gym, at the pharmacy, at the mall, at work, at the doctor, dentist, chiropractor or movie rental.  Many people measure their life balance by adherence to regularly scheduled activities all neatly compartmentalized but very often they also complain there is no joy in anything any more.

Sixth, confront things head on with care and compassion for others.  Maintain an outwardly flowing persona of warmth and openness and limit your inner dialogue to thoughts about how best to maintain your balance under any circumstances.  Listen to the needs of others with compassionate detachment.  Then take action in a way that results in minimal disruption to others and greatest ease of movement for you.

Practice these habits day in and day out until you find yourself with pockets of clearminded time on your hands.  At this point do something with that time that is productive toward your innermost dreams and desires.

Finding the right tools and mechanisms for you and staying on track is difficult.  Advice and mentoring from those who have mastered balance is important to complete the necessary internal shifts -- whether this takes the form of research or consultations.  But, by committing to an investment in yourself in the midst of the pushing and pulling of daily demands upon you, you become more, are able to do more, and are able to be more for others every day.

by Linda Miller 

A fun-loving, deeply compassionate and well rounded personality, Linda has honed her life balance skills over 8 years of single parenthood and self employment as a consultant and small business owner. Her wisdom and techniques for reaching beyond day to day survival to squeeze the 'juice' from day to day life are packaged for the benefit of clients.  Reach her at www.syncopaspa.com    service@syncopaspa.com    604-931-8871

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